Day 21: "We'll Avenge it!" . . . Or not . . .

Project for November 21, 2014

It's hard to keep up with posting while on the road and at a funeral, as I have said, but I really want to post.

I woke up looking around m hotel room to see what I could find to actually do a project.  I came up with nada.  I didn't really want to do another movie poster, but I did want to not do a project before getting on the road at home.

And then I had it! I was looking through some things online when I found some Avenger logos.  I knew the hotel had bagels and I wondered if I could recreate it.

Using bagels, cream cheese, and grape jelly - a delicious and artistic combination - I attempted my Avengers masterpiece!

I hope you enjoy!

Live Orange!

Day 20: The Sign Game: Or How Not to be Bored in a Car

Project for November 20, 2013

It will probably come as no surprise to anyone that I get bored very easily in a car.  I was trying desperately to think of a project I could do while in the car. No, I wasn't driving (at that point anyway) so I decided to take pictures of road signs.

That's nice and random.

But what to do with them?

I could make a PowerPoint of them. . . but that would be too easy.

Ooh! I could put them to music! (In retrospect I like that idea more and more, maybe I'll save it for later!)

I actually settled on trying to find as many movies using the words on the signs as possible.  Here's how it works:

If you can come up with a name of a movie, TV Show, or Play with the sign word in it, = 10 points (if the sign has more than one word and you find movies for each word, then it's 10pts per word/movie combination.

If you can come up with a movie with the sign word as a subject for a movie, TV Show, or Play = 5 points

If you can only come up with the movie title as the first letter in a movie, TV Show, or Play = 1 point

If you use the main root of the word, that's fine. For more challenging games you have to use the exact word.

Let's see how well I can do:

Cowpens - The Patriot - 5pts
   The Patriot mentions the battle of Cowpens, the exact battlefield on the sign

Spartansburg - 300 - 5pts
   If you can't figure out 300 Spartans from this, then go watch the movie.

Greenville - The Green Mile - 10pts

 
Cherokee - Trail of Tears - 5pts
    A play about forcing the Cherokee Tribe off of their homeland

Comm. College - With Honors - 5pts
   Brendan Frasier at college picks up a homeless Danny DeVito

Pleasant School Road - Pleasantville - 5pts
Bolling Springs - Hope Springs - 10 pts

Gaffney - Green Acres - 1pt
    I could only come up with a show that starts with the first letter

18 - 8 Mile - 5pts

Blacksburg - Bringing up Baby - 1pt

Shelby - Seven - 1pt

Earl - Elizabeth - 5pts
    There are a number of "earls" in this film

York - The Tudors - 5pts
     The Duke of York appears in this series

Rock Hill - The House on Haunted Hill / The Rock - 20 pts
   Double whammy!

Welcome Center - Welcome to Moose Point - 10pts

Rest Area - Hotel Transylvania - 5pts
    A hotel is a place to rest, right?

Grover - Percy Jackson & the Olympians the Lightning Thief - 5pts
    Grover is the name of the satyr in this film

King's Mountain - All the King's Men / Escape to Witch Mountain - 20pts

East Bessemer City - Elizabethtown - 1pt
     This was the best I could do.

Gastonia - Beauty and the Beast - 5pts
      So the main villain's name is Gaston.  That counts right?

Lincolnton - Lincoln - 10pts

MY SCORE: 139!

Can you do better with these signs???

Dare ya!

Live Orange!

Day 19: "Percy" the Silent Pic

Project for November 19, 2013

I've had it in the back of my mind for a while that I would like to make a couple of movies.  I found a way to make regular clips look like silent movies, so I thought my first project would be to make a silent movie, but I had to test how the converter worked, so here is my first project:

"Percy" the Silent Movie

I have to start looking up the technical stuff for this kind of movie, because the editor allows you to edit things by type, but if you don't know what "Drop Frames" (and I don't) you won't know how to completely edit the film.  So we'll see what happens when I try a bigger project, but this is one of the ones that I have to try out!

See what you think!

And Live Orange!

Day 18: Name that Cat!

Project for November 18, 2013

So I wanted your help for this post. Yes, it's out of order in terms of days, for those who know that I actually got the caalter than November 18, but that's half the fun! (Plus it's kinda hard to do a project at a funeral, so this one is more fun!)

I wanted to see who could come up with names for my new cat, pictured below.  Here are my requirements: my other animals have or have had names of literary characters (or they can be comic book characters). Typically they have been British, but I'm not attached to that. Please list where the name comes from when you put your ideas.  I hope I can pick from the list that I get, but if I don't like any of them I'm not picking one. I have to live with the name.

Here are the names I currently am using or have used:

Horatio
Borden
Percy

My kitty is about 13 lbs and is big framed.  He is kinda shy, but once he gets to know you, he is really sweet, if that helps to know a little about him.

Let me know what you think!

And Live Orange!

Day 17: Bond, Puzzled Bond

Project for November 17, 2013

At a suggestion from Ali, I decided to take a movie poster that I had at home and make it into a puzzle.  I had a Skyfall poster that I'd gotten from Empire Magazine a while back and since it had fallen off my wall, I used it.

Not that James Bond isn't one of the most put-together men in the movies, but I wanted to make sure that I had a challenging enough puzzle.  Due to the fact that the poster came in a magazine, it had been folded into fourths.  I tore the poster along those lines first - not wanting my pieces to break along them later.  This also created 16 corners for the puzzle which means it will be more challenging to put back together. 

One of the difficulties of creating the pieces was how to make them somewhat standard like a jigsaw and how to differentiate individual ones from each other.  I ended up taking each quarter and cutting it into strips that were waves and then cutting those into pieces.

I guess we'll see if it works. I hope you enjoy seeing the progression in the pictures below

And don't forget to Live Orange!

Day 16: The Balloon Prank

Project for November 16, 2014

While this was done a while back, it originated as my idea and I felt that it was worth posting.  It's a deliciously orange thing to do!

In college I had a bit of a reputation for pranks.  One of my most notorious was completely cleaning out all of the books and awards out of the office of one of my professors.  I collected about 10 of my friends and had them help as we cleared the entire office.  I typed a ransom note on the computer screen and then took the keyboard too.  He still laughs about it.

Of course, learning to be a prankster also means knowing and choosing your confederates carefully.  In my senior year in college I enlisted a freshman to help me turn the director of development's office into the office for the ambassador to Africa.  We moved the desk, got some paraphernalia from one of our professors from Ghana, and then wrote a note from then-Secretary of State Hilary Clinton telling him of his new position and posted it to the door.  It was brilliant!  The only problem was that the freshman was nervous.  We set everything up the night before, but it turned out that the freshman changed everything back early the next morning before the director came into work.

Note to all pranksters: choose your associates wisely.

Philosophy of Pranking: Never prank anyone who cannot take it or doesn't like it.  Never give a prank unless you can take one in return.

I have had people retaliate.

For example, after cleaning out his office, we gave our professor a "survival kit" at the end of the year with alarms, duct tape, etc.  Later the following week as I was checking into my student office, I unlocked the door only to find that he had put the alarms on my office door and scared the freakin' mess out of me.  A very nice bit of re-pranking.

Being rather nostalgic for those days, I decided that since it was my colleague Matt's birthday one weekend, I would try a certain prank I had been wanting to try for a long time!

My confederate this time: Ali.

She and I went to the dollar store and bought about 200 balloons.  The idea was to fill up Matt's office with them so that he wouldn't be able to get in.

Another hint for pranking: make sure it's within your limits.

Ali blew up a large chunk of the balloons since I had been out of the office at trainings, but she came over the night before and we blew up about 15 garbage bags full of balloons.  By the time we were done, we had nearly 200!  She loaded her car full of them and then she and our office secretary, Chrissy, dumped them into the room.

I loaded the rest into my car and drove them to work.

PROBLEM: As I was driving up, I saw Matt pulling up too!  I called the office and told them.

SOLUTION: In a brilliant work of distraction, our office's administrative assistant, Cheryl, met Matt in the office kitchen and had him help her put some things away from a program the week before.  I met Chrissy and Ali at the front of the building and they got the rest of the balloons from my car and dumped them in.

I went into the kitchen to find that Matt and Cheryl were still putting things away and that there was plenty of time to put my things down and wait for him to go into his office.

NEW PROBLEM: Matt suspected us when he saw that the door was closed and that we were all at the front room.  He decided to see if he could make us more irritated by delaying to open the door to his office.

SOLUTION: Wait him out.

Some times there's no alternative but to be patient.  A good prank is always worth it!

So we all waited…
And waited…
And waited…

FINALLY:
Knowing he had to get to work sometime, Matt decided to open the door.

And this is what he saw:

I wish there was a better picture.  What you can't see as well was the depth of the balloons or how big his office it.  Let's just say that there were plenty of them!

It turned out that this was the prank that kept on giving, because we pulled it on several other people in the office.  Then it was pulled back on me.  (I still say that was lame.  After the third office was filled with balloons, I expected something more creative in retaliation.)

With brilliant confederates, a fun prank I hope it's not the last.

After all, I have a reputation to maintain!

I hope you enjoyed!

Live Orange!

Day 15: Leaf Cyclops

So I did something drastic today... I went out to rake the leaves in my yard.  I'm sure my neighbors were excited to see me get out the rake and start on my yard... at first... But the more I raked the bigger the pile got.  And the bigger the pile he more fun it looked.  Percy came out with me and pretty soon we were rolling around in the leaves goofing off.  When I had sufficiently covered my hair in leaves, I looked around and realized that I had only raked about half of the yard!  This was an opportunity...

I continued to rake the leaves around my yard and instead of pushing them to the end of my yard and onto the street, I tried to see how high the pile would go. It was awesome!

Of course it didn't stop there.  I got a better idea...

Why not make a monster out of my new leaf pile?  Using what I could find in my house, I took a trashcan lid and a trash bag and made the following monster.  I even took a rake and made an arm reaching out of the ground!

I hope you enjoy!

Live Orange!

Day 14: Challenge Accepted: Rhymes with Orange

One of my colleagues wrote on my ideas sheet: "find a word that rhymes with orange."  That became my next quest.  I knew it had to be an actual word, not something that someone would come up with from Words with Friends, Bananagrams, or text speak, and of course it had to come from a legitimate source. Having worked in academics some, I know a little bit about decent sources. And if anyone would like to challenge the Oxford English Dictionary, they're more than welcome to do so. But I wouldn't recommend it.

This brings to mind a story told to me by a professor many about someone's challenge of the Oxford English Dictionary many many years ago.  A professor of whom you might have heard, named J. R. R. Tolkien, was teaching a class at Oxford when one of his students asked him why he used the plural of "dwarf" as "dwarves" when the Oxford English Dictionary clearly stipulated that the plural of "dwarf" was "dwarrow".  Tolkien replied that he found the word dwarves to be much easier to say by the average reader and thus decided to use it. When he had finished explaining this to the student, he added "And yes, I am familiar with the word 'dwarrow' in the Oxford English Dictionary. I wrote the entry."

No I did not write either the definition or the original entry for the one word that rhymes with orange, but I did find such a word in the Oxford English Dictionary!

Would you like to know what it is?

Are you sure?

Drum roll please...

The word that rhymes with orange is SPORANGE!

Of course that was everyone's next guess!  We all know what a sporange is!  Just in case you're like one of those many few who don't know what a sporange is, below is the definition:

"The only word in the 20-volume historical Oxford English Dictionary that rhymes with orange is sporange, a very rare alternative form of sporangium (a botanical term for a part of a fern or similar plant)."

Why doesn't that come to everyone when they ask what rhymes with orange? I'm sure the horticulture agent in our office would be able to reference that, but I can assure you that most of us, myself included, could not.  That being said, it feels awesome to have found the word in the English language that rhymes with orange.

Now to figure out how to use it...

Perhaps that's going to be my next project ;)

Now you know!

So keep Living Orange!

Day 13: Can YOU Solve It?

Project for November 13, 2013

Thanks again to Chrissy, I decided to create my own crossword puzzle - with a movie theme of course!  Suffice it to say, I now have a much greater appreciation for people who make crosswords for the paper every day!  I can tell you that that's not something that I would like to do for a living!

I started out with number 6 Across and worked up, down, and out from there.  It was fun after I got some things going, but it was not easy coming up with hints.  I highly recommend getting some guinea pigs to test a crossword before you put it on the market or post it somewhere.  Shout out to Chrissy, Ali, and Arthur for testing mine!  I really goofed on a couple of them and completely left off a clue!

My challenge was to make it.  YOUR challenge, should you choose to accept, is to solve it on your own or wait until you can find someone who can solve it.  I know several of them are old movies or classics - I tried to have a wide variety - but there are a few that should be easily recognizable.  I will post the answers to the puzzle next week, or, if you want, you can message me and I will send them to you.  If you haven't seen movies 1 Down, 6 Down, and/or 17 Down, you need to!  They are great films!

So no googling!  Just find people who know :)  Maybe even post it on facebook as a clue and see who can come up with the answers without googling too!

I hope you enjoy.

Live Orange!

(Hint, if it's too small, you can click on it and expand or copy/paste into a word document or powerpoint slide and it should be a lot bigger)

Day 12: The Play's the Thing!

Project for November 12, 2013

This is a project that came as an idea from my friend and colleague Chrissy.  I told her how I saved most of the playbills and programs from the performances I attended and that I had them in a file.  She suggested that I make them into a scrapbook.

I wondered how to do that while keeping the nicer ones in book form, so I ended up with the following project in digital scrapbook form.  I took pictures of most of my programs and put them into an actual digital scrapbook, but it wasn't shareable with everyone and I wanted it to be visible from the blog.  There wasn't another way to share it with a lot of people, so I had to load it into the individual pages.  You can click on each individual page and it will expand so that you can read it. 

Be sure to read about some of my memories - especially the one during "Romeo and Juliet!" I hope you enjoy!

And Live Orange!

Day 11: T-Rex Attacks Horse and Rider!

Project for November 11, 2013

I had some help for this project as you can see. Thanks so much to Ali Alfonso for agreeing to be my stunt rider!  Don't worry, there were no dinosaurs, horses or dogs harmed during the filming of this clip.  I don't guarantee this for my stunt riders, there's always a risk of them being eaten, but everything else is fine.

We had a special case of a Tyrannosaurus Rex in the riding ring at the farm this afternoon and I had the good fortune of being able to film it while watching Ali and Peanut flee for their lives.  It was rather fun.

Of course when I approached Ali and asked if she'd be interested in being chased by a T-Rex, barbecued by a dragon, or smashed by a satellite, she thoughtfully considered for a moment and then said we should try the dinosaur and the satellite.  I'm glad we did the T-Rex first.  Being crushed by a satellite came with a few adverse effects.

Anyway, below is the link to the adventure.  I hope you enjoy!

Live Orange!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HULA5rtjJWg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Day 10: "And Then There Was One. . ." THE STORY. Can You Finish?

Project for November 10, 2013

If you remember that I did a movie poster for a fake movie "And Then There Was One . . ." a title based on the Agatha Christie novel And Then There Were None. I decided that I needed to create a story to go with the poster, so here it is:

When Detective Allen walked into the hotel room, the only evidence of the victim having been there was a single boot in the hotel chair and a cup of coffee on the table.  The bed was made, there were no clothes in the drawers or in a suitcase, there were no fingerprints.  The whole thing wreaked of a setup, but Allen was convinced that this was where the murder had taken place.  It was the fact that the single boot was on the chair that made him even more convinced that he had indeed discovered the scene.  Officer Farrow came up, pen in hand, scribbling furiously on his pad.

"I suppose this is a bust, eh sir?"

"Not at all," Allen replied.

"But there's nothing to indicate that the victim stayed here.  That could be anyone's boot."

"I could, save for one thing," Allen replied.  He pointed toward the boot and the one thing that gave away both the scene of the crime and the murderer.

Do you have any ideas of what that is?  Let me know what you believe it is!

Hope you enjoy!

And Live Orange!

Day 9: Arrow Attack in the Backyard

Project for November 9, 2013

So again, I test the limits of my neighborhood by having a medieval war zone in my backyard.  I mean who wouldn't want flaming arrows shooting through the powerlines at night? I completely love experimenting with this effect and I hope you enjoy it too!

Live Orange!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4O6ZH6BHmA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Day 8: Zombies Again!

Project for November 8, 2013

I have had trouble catching up from publishing my backlog of posts, so I'm going to try and post two a day for the next several days in order to catch up.

I had so much fun with zombies last time that I decided to try another episode. Again, take this with a grain of salt and snark in which it was hastily written. But I hope you have as much fun reading as I did writing.

I hope you enjoy.

And remember to live orange!

RALEIGH: Okay, fine, I admit it: there are zombies.  But how many are there?  You guys obviously aren’t zombies, and according to what Bella said the change is relatively quick.

BELLA: There’s only one way to find out. Main Street is right around the corner.

RALEIGH: Lead on.

MIKEY: DUDE!  Everybody here is a zombie!

RALEIGH: Whoa, genius, (pulls MIKEY back so he won’t walk into the middle of them). We need to set a few ground rules first, before we just go out there.  Don’t let them touch you.  We need to make sure that this stuff isn’t spread by contact.

BEN: What if it’s viral through the air?

RALEIGH: You ask that now?

BELLA: If that’s the case we’re all screwed.

RALEIGH: No duh! Look, lets just focus on the essentials.  If this is a zombie apocalypse, then we need to start thinking about survival.

MIKEY:  Dude, I left my Zombie Survival Guide in my backpack.  Want me to go get it?

BELLA: It had to be you two that didn’t become zombies.

RALEIGH: Hate to say this, Bella, but that may not be all bad.  

BEN: Mikey, just go into Shawn of the Dead mode.  If they didn’t allow it in the movie, don’t do it here.

MIKEY: Right.

RALEIGH: Okay, the grocery store’s over there.  We need to get stuff that won’t spoil.  No milk, eggs, anything that won’t keep!

BEN: We should get Twinkies.

BELLA: Yeah, cause that’s going to help us survive many years in good health.

BEN: What? They have a shelf life of 50 years!

BELLA: That makes me feel even better about them.

RALEIGH: Look, we may need some sugar supplies at some point for energy, but make sure you guys grab some vitamins too.  And seriously, they don’t seem to get upset unless you talk to them personally, so no conversations.  Also, no quick movements.  Al didn’t try to come after me more aggressively until I ran.  So just act casual.

BELLA: Act casual.  Right.  In a zombie apocalypse.

MIKEY: Righteous, dudes.  Lets go.

BELLA:  Although, come to think of it, Mikey will probably fit right in.

RALEIGH: Be nice… for now anyway. 

(ALL walk slowly and cautiously forward)

RALEIGH: Everybody grab a shopping cart. (sound of shopping carts rolling around).  Okay, single file, slowly, go through the aisles and get stuff.  One shopping cart each, only.  We don’t want to get more than we can run away with.

BEN: Right.

MIKEY: Dude! I left my wallet at home!  And I forgot to deposit my pay check!  

BELLA: Don’t worry about it, I got us covered.

MIKEY: Sweet.

BELLA: See what I was talking about?

RALEIGH: Look, give it a rest.  Just concentrate on what we’ve got to do now.

BELLA: These canned fruits and veggies should be of use.

RALEIGH: Yeah, lets get a lot.  And take all the dried beef you can fit.  Try to get pop tops on cans first, before we have to resort to the ones that need can openers.

MIKEY:  Dude!  Marshmallows!  Those don’t rot!  I mean they rot your teeth, but they don’t rot themselves.

RALEIGH: Mikey, put a cork in it.  Come on, lets hurry up.  I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this.

BEN: (quietly) Hey, there’s a zombie over there!

RALEIGH: Just keep going, don’t do anything rash and they won’t come after us.

BEN: (nervously) She’s looking at us.

RALEIGH: (quietly but authoritatively) Stay calm.

BEN: What if she comes over?

BELLA: (quietly but angrily) Shut up and pull it together, Benton!

MIKEY: Dude! Candy corn!  This place is awesome!

BELLA: This is a nightmare.

RALEIGH: Just keep going.

BEN: There’s more over there in the fresh fruit section.

RALEIGH: Just come on, Ben. Concentrate.  We need these supplies.

BEN: But what if they – AAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!  She’s coming over!  I can’t do this! I can’t do this!

RALEIGH: Ben! No!

BELLA: Oh man, we gotta go!

MIKEY: Dude, what’s the big guy running for?

RALEIGH: Never mind, just keep grabbing stuff and lets go!  They’re starting to realize we aren’t one of them. (sound of filling carts faster with zombies starting to groan)

BELLA: Do we really need dishwasher detergent, Mikey?

MIKEY: Dude, I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to eat off dirty dishes.

BELLA: Seriously?

RALEIGH: Come on.  Just put stuff in the cart and lets go!  They’re starting to come after us now!

BELLA: I know, I – (short scream) 

RALEIGH: Move!  Don’t let ‘em touch you!

BELLA: Too late! (Bella makes sounds like she’s trying to get away)  They won’t let go!

RALEIGH: Mikey!  Hand me that cake mix and get a bottle of canola oil!

BELLA: What are you doing?!?

MIKEY: Go long, Dude!

RALEIGH: Got it! Close your eyes, Bella! I’ve got a cake bomb! (Poof sound as cake mix flies out) Bella, run!  Take what you’ve got, find Ben and get back to the shop!  

BELLA: What about you?!

RALEIGH: I’ll be okay.  Mikey and I will finish the shopping.

BELLA: Are you sure>

RALEIGH: Just get outta here! 

(Sound of Bella running off with the cart)

RALEIGH: Mikey, lets go!  Get a bunch of flour and cake mixes.

MIKEY: Can we get chocolate? I don’t really like Vanilla.  Or Strawberry is cool too.\

RALEIGH: I don’t care if it’s cherry with tire rubber!  Get some!

MIKEY: Right.

RALEIGH: Now come on, I have an idea, but we’ll need some milk.  (SFX running)  I’ll get what we need, can you distract them?

MIKEY:  I guess.  Yo dudes!  Your momma’s so slow when she got walk to the mailbox on Valentines Day, they said it was the “Cupid Shuffle”!

RALEIGH: Mikey, yo momma jokes aren’t necessarily… work?  Good lord, I can’t believe they fell for that.  Now, to get milk and dough.

MIKEY: (Sound of fabric ripping) Hey man!  That’s not cool!  This is my favorite t-shirt.  Besides my Battlestar Galactica one, and my Start Trek IV: Voyage Home one, and my Tigger one.

RALEIGH: Mikey, you need to get out of there, don’t let them gang up on you!  Circle back here!

MIKEY:  What’s the plan now, dude?

RALEIGH: I’m working on one. (waits a beat) See the alcove over there?  The carts will be safe, but we don’t want them getting a hold of them or trapping us.  Shove the carts down there and then follow me.

(They both shove the carts down the aisle and run) 

RALEIGH: Come on! 

MIKEY: Dude, we’re going in the freezer?

RALEIGH: It’s a long shot, but I’m hoping there’s a bit of truth to the movies.  Lets go leave the door open behind you and push your way through as fast as you can.

(SFX of them pushing through things and a freezer sound)

MIKEY: Sweetness, Dude!  I knew they had some more Chunky Monkey!

RALEIGH: Mikey, there’s a zombie behind you.

MIKEY: Roger, Dude, pickin’ up speed. (moves a lot faster, knocking through bags of frozen foods)

RALEIGH: Whoah!  You’re moving double time!  Since you’re in front now, get out at this door to your right.

MIKEY: Rockin’ it. (SFX: sound of Mikey jumping down)  Lemme give you a hand, dude.

RALEIGH: Thanks. I – Hey! (SFX zombie groan) Shut the door quick! 

(SFX zombie groan and face sliding down glass)

MIKEY: (SFX sticks tongue out) See if you can beat that, bro!

(SFX zombie groan, tongue sticking out)

MIKEY: Check it out, Dude!  He’s got his tongue stuck to the door!

RALEIGH: Wow.  Come on, we’ve only got a little more time before they figure it out.

MIKEY: No, I think we’re good here, dude.  Check it.  They’re all trying to get in the freezer now.

RALEIGH: Man, they really are stupid.  Lets get the carts.  How’d you move so fast through the freezer veggie bags?

MIKEY: Oh, that.  Yeah, I like work at Chuckey Cheeses on the weekends.  They send me in for kids who don’t want to come out of the ball pit.  Pretty much the only thing to do is to move through them like that so you can find all the kids who don’t want to come out.  I got really good when the ball truck came through one day and accidentally filled it up to the top.  We had several kids in there so I had to go all special ops and swim down to the bottom to get them. Takes a while some days.  I wonder if I’ll still have to work this weekend?

RALEIGH: Don’t think it will matter much.

(SFX running and moving carts quikly.  Grocery store doors open and they stop)

RALEIGH: Uh oh.

MIKEY: Totally a zombie army, bro.

RALEIGH: Mikey.

MIKEY: Sup dude?

RALEIGH: I’m not your bro.

MIKEY: Oh right!  You’re a bro-ette!

RALEIGH: (sighs) And second, RUN!

(The music comes up and sounds of carts flying and zombies groaning fades out)

Day 7: Zombies Radio

Project for November 7, 2013

So I've seen a lot in the last few months about zombies and zombie apocalypses. I have always had reservations about a zombie apocalypse. Notwithstanding the brilliance of the movie Shaun of the Dead, and the fun fan fiction book Night of the Living Trekkies, the rest of them seem poorly done.  I mean if you're going to have a zombie apocalypse it needs to be believable. I love science fiction. I always have. But most writings or movies that have to do with zombies take themselves much too seriously.

I have to admit that I started what I'm publishing now in this post a while back when I had a snarky moment after perusing the Barnes and Noble bookstore one afternoon and see nothing but zombie fanfiction and survival books. 

Fast forward to the next day while working at the Canal Museum, I wondered that is there really was zombie apocalypse if I could survive it at the Museum?  That night I thought about writing this piece. And I started. . . and then I stopped. Job hunting tends to be a zombie all of its own and I was busy conquering that rather than writing this. So for my project I decided to try and revamp this particular episode perhaps publish one more on my blog later.

Of course I was influenced by the medium I was enthralled with the time, and still am: radio dramas - especially those of the early 1940s and 50s. With that in mind I wrote a zombie radio drama apocalypse, or at least part of one. I'm not sure where it will lead and it's meant solely in the spirit of having fun with zombie apocalypses . . . So take this in the spirit of the snark in which it was meant and the fun that I had with it.

I hope you enjoy.

And remember to live orange!

             * * * * * * * * * * * *

RALEIGH: “So lemme get this straight.  We’re in a Zombie Apocalypse?”
 RALEIGH: “So lemme get this straight.  We’re in a Zombie Apocalypse?”

JINX : “Yup.”

RALEIGH: “It really happened?”

JINX: “Yup.”

RALEIGH: “So why am I not seeing any zombies?”

JINX: “Haven’t looked around enough.”

RALEIGH: “What are they at the movies and haven’t come out yet?”

JINX: “Not sure.”

RALEIGH: “Why am I having this conversation with you?”

JINX: “Don’t know.”

RALEIGH: “Do you understand the purpose of a rhetorical question?” *sighs*

Two guys burst through the door.

BEN: “Dude!  I can’t believe this!  It’s like, it’s like, Shawn of the Dead really happened!”

MIKEY: “Yeah, like totally!”

RALEIGH: “I can’t believe this, Mikey, Ben, I don’t see any zombies.  I’ve been looking out the window for the past twenty minutes and nothing has walked by with flesh hanging off and blood running down its face with its arms stretched out in front of it groaning.”

BEN: “But they’re everywhere!  They’re not exactly like they are in Shawn of the Dead… or like in Night of the Living Dead either, to be honest.”

RALEIGH: “So they’re more like the ones on Scooby Doo?”

MIKEY: “Yeah!... Wait, no.”

BEN: Come on Mikey, pull it together.”

RALEIGH: “So I don’t get it, are you guys zombies?”

BEN: “No, not yet anyway.”

RALEIGH: “How do I know you’re not trying to trick me?”

BEN: “Dude, zombies totally aren’t that smart.”

RALEIGH: “My point exactly.”

MIKEY: “Right. Wait… huh?”

The door opens again (bell rings when it does) and another person walks in as RALEIGH is talking

RALEIGH: Look, when you see one, come get me.  Otherwise, just let me go about my business.

BELLA: They’re not joking, Raleigh, everyone seems zombified at the moment.

RALEIGH: That’s not even funny, Bella.

BELLA: Do I look like I’m joking.

RALEIGH: No, not really.  What makes you think they’re zombies?

BELLA: I’m not saying they just came out of an old 40s horror film or even a modern one, but a large number of the populous aren’t responding to anything or anyone else and more of them are responding less all the time.

RALEIGH: How do you mean?

BELLA:  Well, I was talking to Myra Hannigan down the street when all of a sudden it’s like somebody flipped a switch and she just went blank.  She didn’t answer me, she didn’t look at me, and she didn’t even blink.  Then she just walked off at a really slow, but regular pace.  She wasn’t “shuffling,” as it were, she was just walking.  Again, I’m not sure what’s going on, but there’s definitely something weird here.

BEN: I told you!  Right out of Star Trek!

BELLA: More like Frankenstein.

RALEIGH: I don’t care either way.  What I need to do is see this for myself.

MIKEY: Dude, you can’t go out there!

RALEIGH: Watch me.

BELLA: I’m coming with you.

BEN: Me too!

MIKEY: Dude, me three!

RALEIGH: Show me where you last saw Hannigan.

BELLA: (quietly) Follow me. (they walk for a bit) Look there.  That’s Myra’s husband Al, he’s in the same condition too.
RALEIGH: He looks pretty normal to me.  Just grilling out, although it certainly doesn’t smell very good.

BELLA: Step around this way.

RALEIGH: Oh.  Yeah.  I guess it’s kinda weird to be grilling hand towels and chunks of gutter.

BELLA: One of you morons go talk to him.

MIKEY: Okay. (goes to leave)

BEN: No, you idiot!  Stay put!  Why don’t one of you go talk to him.  Girls usually last longer.

BELLA:  Well I’m a blonde, historically speaking they don’t usually last as long as brunettes.

RALEIGH:  By historically I’m assuming you’re talking about monster movies…

BELLA: Or horror movies in general.

RALEIGH: Geez. Fine. I’ll go. I’m a girl and a brunette.  Just remember, if I turn into a zombie it’s on your heads.

BEN: I can live with that.

MIKEY: Totally, dude.

BELLA: I’ll make sure I kill you before you turn completely.

RALEIGH: That’s comforting.  (walks to AL)  Hey neighbor!  What’s up?  Grilling out today?  (no response, she walks closer to AL)  Just wanted to see if you had everything you need.  Can I get you anything?

AL: (turns and groans) braaaainnnn

RALEIGH: Yeah, I’m guessing that could come in handy.  Do you need anything else?

AL: (again, groaning) braaaainnnn… work… (begins to hammer at the grill)

RALEIGH: Okay… You know, I understand whacking things when you’re frustrated, but the grill is working.  It might help if you put real food on it.  I guarantee grilling gutters won’t taste that great.

AL: (stops whacking) braaaainnn… work… food…
RALEIGH: So you learned another word.  That’s nice.

AL: Fooood...

RALEIGH: Yeah, you need food, not towels and gutters.

AL: Fooooood. (begins to walk toward RALEIGH)

RALEIGH: Uh…

AL: Foooooooooood…

RALEIGH: No, I’m not food.  You need some burgers. And some hot dogs.  And some zucchini!  People love zucchini!  Maybe Asparagus?

AL: Foooooooooooooooood!

RALEIGH: This can’t be good.  Um, how about I take a rain check on dinner, okay? Great!  See ya! (Runs off).

BELLA: That went well.

RALEIGH: Yeah, he’s quite a conversationalist.

BELLA: He functions better than Myra did.

RALEIGH: That’s saying a lot.

BEN: So are you convinced now?

RALEIGH: Do I have to admit that there are zombies?

BEN: It’d be nice.
JINX : “Yup.”

RALEIGH: “It really happened?”

JINX: “Yup.”

RALEIGH: “So why am I not seeing any zombies?”

JINX: “Haven’t looked around enough.”

RALEIGH: “What are they at the movies and haven’t come out yet?”

JINX: “Not sure.”

RALEIGH: “Why am I having this conversation with you?”

JINX: “Don’t know.”

RALEIGH: “Do you understand the purpose of a rhetorical question?” *sighs*

Two guys burst through the door.

BEN: “Dude!  I can’t believe this!  It’s like, it’s like, Shawn of the Dead really happened!”

MIKEY: “Yeah, like totally!”

RALEIGH: “I can’t believe this, Mikey, Ben, I don’t see any zombies.  I’ve been looking out the window for the past twenty minutes and nothing has walked by with flesh hanging off and blood running down its face with its arms stretched out in front of it groaning.”

BEN: “But they’re everywhere!  They’re not exactly like they are in Shawn of the Dead… or like in Night of the Living Dead either, to be honest.”

RALEIGH: “So they’re more like the ones on Scooby Doo?”

MIKEY: “Yeah!... Wait, no.”

BEN: Come on Mikey, pull it together.”

RALEIGH: “So I don’t get it, are you guys zombies?”

BEN: “No, not yet anyway.”

RALEIGH: “How do I know you’re not trying to trick me?”

BEN: “Dude, zombies totally aren’t that smart.”

RALEIGH: “My point exactly.”

MIKEY: “Right. Wait… huh?”

The door opens again (bell rings when it does) and another person walks in as RALEIGH is talking

RALEIGH: Look, when you see one, come get me.  Otherwise, just let me go about my business.

BELLA: They’re not joking, Raleigh, everyone seems zombified at the moment.

RALEIGH: That’s not even funny, Bella.

BELLA: Do I look like I’m joking.

RALEIGH: No, not really.  What makes you think they’re zombies?

BELLA: I’m not saying they just came out of an old 40s horror film or even a modern one, but a large number of the populous aren’t responding to anything or anyone else and more of them are responding less all the time.

RALEIGH: How do you mean?

BELLA:  Well, I was talking to Myra Hannigan down the street when all of a sudden it’s like somebody flipped a switch and she just went blank.  She didn’t answer me, she didn’t look at me, and she didn’t even blink.  Then she just walked off at a really slow, but regular pace.  She wasn’t “shuffling,” as it were, she was just walking.  Again, I’m not sure what’s going on, but there’s definitely something weird here.

BEN: I told you!  Right out of Star Trek!

BELLA: More like Frankenstein.

RALEIGH: I don’t care either way.  What I need to do is see this for myself.

MIKEY: Dude, you can’t go out there!

RALEIGH: Watch me.

BELLA: I’m coming with you.

BEN: Me too!

MIKEY: Dude, me three!

RALEIGH: Show me where you last saw Hannigan.

BELLA: (quietly) Follow me. (they walk for a bit) Look there.  That’s Myra’s husband Al, he’s in the same condition too.
RALEIGH: He looks pretty normal to me.  Just grilling out, although it certainly doesn’t smell very good.

BELLA: Step around this way.

RALEIGH: Oh.  Yeah.  I guess it’s kinda weird to be grilling hand towels and chunks of gutter.

BELLA: One of you morons go talk to him.

MIKEY: Okay. (goes to leave)

BEN: No, you idiot!  Stay put!  Why don’t one of you go talk to him.  Girls usually last longer.

BELLA:  Well I’m a blonde, historically speaking they don’t usually last as long as brunettes.

RALEIGH:  By historically I’m assuming you’re talking about monster movies…

BELLA: Or horror movies in general.

RALEIGH: Geez. Fine. I’ll go. I’m a girl and a brunette.  Just remember, if I turn into a zombie it’s on your heads.

BEN: I can live with that.

MIKEY: Totally, dude.

BELLA: I’ll make sure I kill you before you turn completely.

RALEIGH: That’s comforting.  (walks to AL)  Hey neighbor!  What’s up?  Grilling out today?  (no response, she walks closer to AL)  Just wanted to see if you had everything you need.  Can I get you anything?

AL: (turns and groans) braaaainnnn

RALEIGH: Yeah, I’m guessing that could come in handy.  Do you need anything else?

AL: (again, groaning) braaaainnnn… work… (begins to hammer at the grill)

RALEIGH: Okay… You know, I understand whacking things when you’re frustrated, but the grill is working.  It might help if you put real food on it.  I guarantee grilling gutters won’t taste that great.

AL: (stops whacking) braaaainnn… work… food…
RALEIGH: So you learned another word.  That’s nice.

AL: Fooood...

RALEIGH: Yeah, you need food, not towels and gutters.

AL: Fooooood. (begins to walk toward RALEIGH)

RALEIGH: Uh…

AL: Foooooooooood…

RALEIGH: No, I’m not food.  You need some burgers. And some hot dogs.  And some zucchini!  People love zucchini!  Maybe Asparagus?

AL: Foooooooooooooooood!

RALEIGH: This can’t be good.  Um, how about I take a rain check on dinner, okay? Great!  See ya! (Runs off).

BELLA: That went well.

RALEIGH: Yeah, he’s quite a conversationalist.

BELLA: He functions better than Myra did.

RALEIGH: That’s saying a lot.

BEN: So are you convinced now?

RALEIGH: Do I have to admit that there are zombies?

BEN: It’d be nice.

Day 6: Collecting Random Ideas

Project for November 6. 2013

I was curious to see if people would be willing to contribute ideas or if they would ignore it completely.  I made the following sign and posted it in various places at work and at church.  I am going to wait a week and see if people post ideas, and if they do (and if they are appropriate) I will try to do as many as I can.

What would you write?  Care to contribute yourself?

You can always make suggestions in the comments on the blog or on facebook!

Here's the flyer that I posted: